The world is full of puzzling things:
IKEA assembly instructions,
The Laws of Cricket,
the Irish border backstop,
Trump's tariff war on American farmers,
quantitative easing,
convertible debentures,
drivers who refuse to use their indicators.
But there is a class of confusion
that's simply off the Richter scale
(which itself is rather puzzling).
I'm not referring to the colors of national flags
or the fragility of modern shopping bags.
I'm talking about women.
Yes, you, of what used to be known as the fairer sex.
Why is it you're so fixated on chocolate, flowers, shoes, boring cars, tiny dogs, dolphins, unicorns, horses with or without flowers...
and horses dressed as unicorns?
And men? What is it with your infatuation with video games,
single malt whiskey, over-powered cars... and girly-looking women?
Besides, if girls can be boyish, why can't boys be girlish?
But the biggest puzzle of all: Why are dogs so fetch-obsessed?